We continue our journey through the wonders of the '80s with this, the second issue of COSMIC STELLER (sic) REBELERS (sic), the comic that asks what would happen if big-nosed, antennea'd aliens came to Earth fleeing fanged, muscular dog-men from the planet Mongell.

It's always a treat to see artwork somebody really took their time on. When your pencilling needs work, the obvious solution is to just ink the heck out of it, right? And the Craft-Tint Paper (tm) effects really... sort of... make everything... grey.

Both the Rebelers (sic) and the Mongells have exaggerated overly muscled bodies. Stiff poses and weird perspective don't help make things readable. Luckily the miracle of Craft-Tint Paper (tm) helps to obscure every flaw.

Our human hero Bruce is a super cool dude who has helmet hair, ripped abs, ever-present sunglasses, a bitchin' van, and a great job as... a janitor, which proves that you can only push your wish-fulfillment self-insertion characters so far.

Here's a handy tip; any household afro wig makes aliens "narley" (sic) and "scarrier" (sic), especially when applied by Miss Chica Low-Rider 1987.

The precarious state of race relations in the late Reagan era is highlighted by this tragic exchange, where a hydrocephalic, ripped freak must counsel caution to his Afro-wigged alien compatriot, because they are trespassing in an area dominated by "another ethnic group". "Another ethnic group"? You mean, people WITHOUT freakishly large heads, who might take off their sunglasses every once in a while?

Who knew that the eternal questions of mankind would be answered in a cheap black and white comic book starring aliens and giant-headed sunglass men?

And with powerful revelations shattering all our preconcieved notions about God, time, and the nature of existence, COSMIC STELLER (sic) REBELERS (sic) ends. The big question I have is, how was Hammac Publications (of Maine) able to create this precisely distilled essence of sophomore math notebook doodles? This comic looks like an entire semester's worth of study hall, embellished with just a tiny, tiny touch of Craft-Tint Paper (tm). Craft-Tint Paper (tm)... for all your Steller (sic) Rebeling (sic) needs.