Before Kryptonite, before Perry White and the Daily Planet, before they'd really worked out exactly how powerful Superman was or whether or not he could actually fly or just kinda leap around, before they'd figured all that out, well, Superman was there. More or less.


Never let it be said that we here at Mister Kitty are fussy about the condition of our comics. This one here, it's pretty beat up. On the other hand, it survived a world war, a Korean conflict, the Beat generation, the struggle for Civil Rights, whatever they called what was going on in Viet Nam, the Edsel, the British invasion, Disco, Watergate, Reaganomics, two Gulf wars, and the Rock-A-Fire Explosion. So it's seen some things, man.


Superman! Able to correct the errors of public transit engineers AND scoop the reporting efforts of mere mortals!


Remember, this is a story from before they introduced Perry White, and from before they realized Superman could just fly to Hollywood instead of spending two solid days being jolted on the train sitting next to a dry-goods salesman from Grand Rapids who brought along an endless supply of pointless stories.


Look, I'm in favor of union action in support of the strike, but this stagehand might be taking things too far!

(Yes! Current events reference!)


His brave rope-snapping murder-foiling action has earned Clark a date with a movie star! Or has it?


Even the super brain of Superman is bewildered by FEEEEEEEEEEMALES


"Well, I'm not interested in that ungrateful vixen! Not at all! That's why I bought this newspaper, so I could read all about this person that I don't even care about! Look how much I don't care!"


Dolores realizes that past a certain age Hollywood has no use for women, so she's cashing out. Meanwhile, this party is celebrating Pride month several decades early!


When the machine guns come out? That's how you know it's a great party!


Here's the source of the famous Blazing Saddles line "Somebody's gotta go back and get a ship-load of celebrities!"


Why waste time sending your ransom demands one at a time to the families of your individual victims? Just broadcast to the entire world at once. More efficent that way!


You can see from his press card that he's a newspaper correspondent! Or at least somebody who's able to go to a print shop and have some press cards printed up. So you know he's legit!


"Look buddy, I wasn't going to let you in before, and I'm definitely not going to let you in after you've taken off your glasses and put on some kind of circus acrobat outfit. Now hit the bricks, pal!"


Don't let this mysterious kidnap case interrupt your fun time, Superman.


Slow your roll, buddy; it's going to be thirty years before DC Comics is acquired by Warners, so legally, your Daffy Duck impressions will have to wait.


No doubt the apprehension felt at that moment by the talent management agency's director would have increased exponentially had his awareness of the figure of a certain fantastic costumed super-hero currently beholding his visage from the opposite side of the window been fully realized!

Also, you've found your man. Happy Pride Month everybody!


"Please five muffins, untie busy mean the cereal lightfoot, at 12 o'clock mudmush???"


Able to change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and await further developments faster than a speeding bullet!


Eight hours later, Superman realized he'd spent the night staring at a lobster trap.


THRILL to the AMAZING development-awaiting EXCITEMENT - every month in Action Comics!


Seriously, gang, when is the last time you saw the verb "hove" used in a sentence, and why did it involve a vessel of some kind? That's the only time you see that word, when it describes the motion of an ocean liner or a freighter or a battleship. They're always hoveing into view.

Also let me point out that in 1940 the cost of a submarine was about three million dollars, so after this crime is all over Dolores will have two million left after expenses. Crime is costly!


Buoy and ransom money are attracted by the magnetic ray and drawn into the sub's interior. The ray also picked up two junked cars, three anchors, a few outboard motors, and a lot of vintage steel beer cans, hang onto those, Dolores!


Dolores knows she can never release these hostages - once they're freed, Hollywood will make nothing but tedious "true story of how we were kidnaped" dramas for the next three solid years.


Sure, she's got a crew of guys with machine guns who could easily kill them all, but mass electrocution is so chic!


Hey hostages, when your captor's murder method fails, maybe just say "I dunno," instead of trying to be helpful?


Before taking any face-saving action, Superman's super brain instantly identifies each movie star and evaluates whether or not he liked their last picture, and if he approves of the current fake relationship their studio has them currently a part of.


Superman can spot his arch-foe Ultra (or, the Ultra-Humanite if you prefer) merely by those evil blazing eyes. And he can spot the work of an overzealous plastic surgeon by the complete lack of a nose.


Looks like in addition to being a murderous super-genius hellbent on world domination, Ultra also really wanted to live in the body of a beautiful movie queen. Haven't we all?


Super breath, you've been waiting for it ever since that torch showed up, here it is everybody. Super breath.


Superman just doing a little casual super-misgendering here while our crew of Hollywood celebrities do what they should have done two or three days ago, overpower an out-numbered band of sailor boy criminals. Nice work fellas. Maybe a little faster next time.


"Wait! I'll give you a fortune if you star in the movies! And also, more importantly, none of us know how to operate a submarine!"


Well, it's the end of a swell vacation for Clark Kent, if you call working day and night "a vacation." Eh, it's 1940, he's lucky to have a job! That's the end of this thrilling Superman adventure, and hey, why not enjoy the adventures of THE SANDMAN and the detection of THE BATMAN the next time you feel the need for comics entertainment?

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