Have you ever wondered what if Richie Rich's kind, benevolent, large-bodied father acted more like a real-life billionaire? No? Well too bad, because that's what we've got here!


When you're ridiculously, cartoonishly wealthy, you can operate a meth lab right in your house and let your bulbuous-headed kid wander in and nobody says anything.


Mr. Rich made the mistake of sending Richie to a regular public school, where he's clearly getting "just say no" presentations in the school auditorium, and is thus all ready familiar with the concept of speed. Had he sent Richie to a proper private boarding school like the other oligarchs Richie would be up to his nose in coke by 4th grade.


Yeah, the last few stacks of paperwork are just incoherent scrawls and doodles of Little Dot's mom with no clothes on, but he still got a lot of work done too. Some of it might even be usable!


See? He's all ready acting more like a real-life rich guy, expecting his employees to take amphetamines so they can never stop working, instead of hiring more people.


Careful Mr. Rich, this is exactly how you get Donald Trump Jr and no one wants that (especially Donald Trump Sr)!


Take a good look, because this is as realistic as any Harvey comic will ever get, especially Mr. Rich's hypertension and eventual cardiac event.


No, wait, I take it back; THIS is the most realistic any Harvey comic will ever get.


No, wait, I take it back again, THIS is the most realistic any Harvey comic will ever get.


NO WAIT-- ok, ok sorry sorry


Bigger Than Life (1956, D: Nicholas Ray)


Well, he's rich, so once he's murdered a couple people he'll get sent to a nice rehab facility for six weeks or so.


She would help, but Mrs. Rich has been wasted on white wine since 11am.


The obvious joke would be "run for President" but he could just as easily be starting a a Super PAC


And now let's take a break to watch Little Lotta use Little Dot's buttprint as a stamp


Back in Richie's opulent bedroom, Richie invites his poor friends Freckles and Pee Wee over in the hopes that if his dad becomes physically violent the little ragamuffins will take the brunt of it.


Ugh, he IS running for president.


Well, just stop watching CNN.


HEY YEAH I totally forgot my toys are all actual weapons, including a literal army tank! Gee, if only I'd had some warning about my dad's love of authoritarianism!


UNlucky for them, those pies are fired at a velocity of 3000 feet per second! That ain't pie filling squishing out!


Mr. Rich has reached the "Sunday Morning Coming Down" stage of his pill taking, but it's not stopping him from putting out a hit on his prepubescent son.


Don't worry kids, they got out just in time. How all 3 of them got out without being seen I don't know, but this is a comic for little kids, so they got out just in time.


Yep, those guns will just put them to sleep. Nothing to worry about, Comics Code of America.


Be sure to make those "Z" balloons nice and big, to remind us that Richie and Freckles didn't just slaughter a bunch of guards.


And, since this is a kids' comic with the Comics Code seal of approval, Richie was only having a dream about committing patricide on his despotic, insane father.


How much time had passed between Mr. Rich taking that first pill and Richie starting this dream? How far into terrorism and insurrection had Rich Industries gotten before Mr. Rich realized the pills were messing with his head? Or was there only ever the one pill, which didn't do anything? Or were the pills too good at putting people to sleep, thus hindering the wheels of industry? Questions, questions!

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