The average home is jam packed with poisons, explosives, corrosives, and inflammables, a veritable armageddon just waiting for the touch of a stray spark, a clumsy elbow, or a casually tossed lawn dart to ruin everyone's day. Somehow we've got to teach the children to avoid all these potential disasters!


Well if you're in Canada, this is how you do it, you get two green space aliens and a friendly dog, and you let them tell the tale of how they vanquished Fingers, Torchy, Bones and Boomer. Those boomers are always causing trouble!


Let's see if I can't identify these symbols. Um... okay. "Kundalini Yoga Class Inside", "Misfits T-Shirt," there's "Radiologist On Duty," and "Planet Being Destroyed By Death Star." Right?


An unsuspecting Earth is about to have uninvited visitors. Meanwhile, a dog chooses between sleeping, barking at squirrels, or rolling in garbage.


Suddenly Sniffer. The exotic fragrance that says "dog."


"I'm glad to see you guys! Rolling around in that pile of trash was looking better and better every minute!"


Wait Sniffer, your house is the little one in the yard, not the big house with the kitchen in it, you can't invite space aliens into the big people house full of humans, they're the ones that go out and buy food, and... well, now I'm confused.


"Let's go through their kitchen cabinets and sneer at the pasta brands, snoop through their medicine cabinets, and change the settings on their TV because they had some sort of setting we don't prefer! They'll thank us later."


NOTE: This material is presented as a historical document and may depict attitudes and expressions today considered offensive. It reflects the historical and cultural context in which it was created, which may not align with contemporary "green-positive" values or sensibilities.


You want to have some fun? Why not hang out with a walking, talking can of some sort of household corrosive material?


Meet Bones, he's the spray can of poison this family keeps in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. You know, for that really, really, really bad case of The Mondays.


Who knew Gene Simmons of KISS would be performing LIVE in the basement of this suburban home? Right before Gene Simmons fired his agent?


Inane grin, unfortunate facial hair, prone to explosions - yup, he's a boomer all right.

Fine, this is my last "boomer" reference. OKAY, BOOMER?


Here's the part where they turn safety instructions into a competitive game involving elements of chance, which means it's only a matter of time before somebody starts using gambling on the outcome - which can only lead to crippling addictions. What have they done? Is the cure worse than the disease? Forgive them, future degenerates!


Again with the "fun." Define "fun" for spray cans and five gallon gasoline tins, please?


Smart enough to walk around on two legs, own a home, and purchase groceries from the store, but dumb enough to leave two space alien children alone in a house filled with talking gasoline cans. That's our Sniffer!


Yikes, it's that dangerous gang that is in your house, Sniffer, why is this a surprise, Sniffer, how did they get in your house anyway, Sniffer?


Yeah, be careful of poisons and flammable liquids. Sure sure. Should we also be careful of dogs who keep poisons and flammable chemicals around? I think we should!


"In fact they're all very dangerous and why they are present in this home is a mystery that I am not even going to begin to explain to our readers, who might like to know about bug spray or oven cleaner, but will not be enlightened at this time."


They should be locked up. They weren't, because Sniffer is a dog without the expectations society places upon responsible human homeowners. But they should have been.


Just make sure Torchy's cap is on tight and there's good ventilation in the basement otherwise Torchy's vapors might come into contact with the pilot light on your water heater. Maybe lock Torchy up in the garage. I mean, Sniffer has a house, he's probably got a car as well. Let the dogs drive, is that where this comic is going?


Society creates these highly pressurized cans of poison and then society decides they're dangerous and locks them up? Maybe society needs to ask itself why it creates sentient poison spray in the first place!


Honestly, putting all this stuff in the shed with the padlock is probably the best bet, and it should be at least 75 feet from inhabited buildings, according to government regulations. Now you can REALLY enjoy your milk and cookies.


And the moral of this story is... don't let aliens wander unsupervised around your house! Kind of a no-brainer! Now, go lock up all your corrosives and flammables, don't assume your dog is going to do it.

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