Electricity! We're surrounded by it. Miles of complex wiring, towers of devices all filled with charged capacitors, carpets that seemingly exist only to generate painful static shocks, and a sky filled with deadly lightning that can strike anyone at any time. It's a wonder any of us survive! Naturally, this awesome force has inspired many super-powerful comic book characters beloved by readers... and this guy, also.


Not the Wally Wood Tower Comics Dynamo, but the Golden Age Dynamo, who saves helpless, unclad ladies from the threat of hydroelectric generating systems with his "paralyzing thrust." I guess that's what they called it in the 40s?


And so it was ordained, let there be no confusion about the name of this character, let it be emblazoned in lettering large and space-filling!


Shock, concern and bewilderment strike the nation after this brazen theft. Even America's skirt police are outraged at this display of nerve! Remember, no one can even get into these hidden Kentucky gold mints, which makes me wonder how America is supposed to use this gold, if absolutely nobody can get at it?


The Federal men scoff at our hero, who has changed outfits from the sleek red number he was sporting on the cover to a more relaxed costume accessorized with a cape and an "E" which stands for "Dynamo" amongst those of us who can't spell. Actually, it stands for "Electro," which was the character's name in Science Comics #1, but was changed because it turns out there was already an Electro. And of course later there would be more "Electros" and "Dynamos," because the creative forces behind American comics simply aren't going to work that hard coming up with new names.


"Not honest domestic American metal, but FOREIGN metal, obviously here to steal American jobs from real American metals!"


Electric power can light lamps, run motors, and enable people to lift heavy stones. Do NOT plug yourself into the wall and try this at home, kids. Your cape might vanish!


It's a Federal Men Road Trip to what appears to be the barren, rocky, desert badlands of Kentucky. Reference materials? Who needs 'em?


"Sure, you found the unauthorized tunnel that allowed criminals to steal America's gold and throw the world economic system into chaos, but we're going to complain about you anyway."


Sigh If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!


Ah yes, the famous Kentucky Badlands Museum Of Art Treasures And Secret Gold Stealing Tunnels. Perfectly normal museum.


Don't do it Dynamo, he'll make you part of his "factory" and then you'll find yourself starring in a twelve hour film with Gerard Melanga!

Sorry, that's kind of a fine-arts intellectual reference, let me see if I can't make it more accessible... you'll find yourself chained to an easel putting the finishing touches on an endless assembly line of kitschy paintings of quaint snowbound cottages!! There, how's that?


Dynamo (b. 1940?)
"Figure Thrown In Huge Vat", 1940
Bronze and Steel
Performance piece executed in 1940 in the Kentucky Badlands Museum Of Art Treasures And Secret Gold Stealing Tunnels


Wasting America's precious gold reserves on tiresome figurative statuary? Yeah you'd better run, you obsolete, bourgeois fossil!


How clever is "running away," really?


Look at these guys, showing up to start moving thousands of pounds of gold with just their bare hands, good luck with that fellas, remember to lift with your legs, I guess.


The amazing electric powers of Dynamo force unwanted Charlie Brown Christmas Special dancing on the unsuspecting gangsters.


Sure, he's scalding and smothering them to death under layers of molten metal - but he's using ELECTRICITY, so it's only SLIGHTLY psychopathic mass murder.


"Have fun separating America's precious metals from the corpses of my victims!" says our hero Dynamo. These are definitely shocking adventures, but if we can convince one child to avoid electricity, and electricity-themed super heroes, it will all be worth it!

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