Of all the many vices present in the DC Universe, gambling is pretty low on the list, but that won't stop Superman's pal's fanclub from learning the hard way that betting is a one-way ticket to Losertown! And let's face it, kids who love Jimmy Olsen to the point of being in his fan club are all ready halfway there to begin with. Let's learn along with them, then, the dangers of gambling!


In the Jimmy Olsen fan clubhouse, much like on Bizarro world, Superman is JIMMY'S pal, not the other way around!

Sure Jimmy, you and Superman are giving a lecture together. He'll let you turn the pages as he reads his speech. He doesn't need to read it of course, he's Superman, he's got it completely memorized, but he wants you to feel like you're a part of things.


Golly!! Hard boiled eggs!!!

Superman can fly like an airplane, bend steel in his bare hands, and leap over tall buildings, but for these lameoids he'll heat their water to the boiling point so they can go on their picnic a couple minutes sooner.


Show your appreciation? You're paying rent on a clubhouse in his honor, I think he'll survive without a "World's Best Pal" coffee mug.


I guess in the 1950s Chicago and New York were hogging all the good gangster nicknames and cities like Metropolis were forced to go with something less catchy, overly literal, not at all alliterative, and untenably long. On the other hand, the sons of Charles "Lucky" Luciano and Sammy "The Bull" Gravano probably didn't have their dad's newspaper clippings folded up in their pockets to show around for clout. Or maybe they did?? Gangsters' kids are a weird lot.


Okay, so a few questions: Who created that Bizarro Jimmy trophy, and why? A trophy usually implies a competitive prize of some sort, what was the competition? And why? What present did the fan club have in mind that would cost $100 in 1950s dollars? And why????


Well, well, well, it looks like the Jimmy Olsen fanclub isn't as dumb as it collectively appears! At least one of them is familiar with dumb tricks that impress kindergarteners.


Well, okay, they knew ONE trick that impresses kindergarteners.


sigh.


Well, these dumbos keep getting bamboozled by bar tricks for a few pages, so I guess sit back and enjoy? It never hurts to learn a few of these, in case you ever become a barfly, or want to start a new career as a "Mr. Wizard" for extremely bored children.


Gosh Mr. Wizard, you could tell just by spinning! I mean you could've told by holding the one that was a lot colder because it just came out of the fridge but ok


For all you teenage gambling addicts out there, when someone wants to make a bet, watch out for wording that is overly-specific, yet also intentionally vague. Now let's watch in chagrin!


Oh, no, tricked again!


Let's just get this over with quickly.


The gambling bug hits some people harder and faster than others, but if I was going to pick any member of Jimmy's fanclub to get it, it probably would've been Teen Hitler.


Luckily Jimmy is overflowing with a steady supply of Super trinkets. I would think a tiny robot is probably more valuable than a plaque and a weird trophy?


Ah, no, Jimmy, they would've bet the shit out of that bowtie, Skip wasn't interested.


Kid, you would absolutely bet that you know your own name, 100%, and you'd somehow find a way to lose.


Well, Mr. Bet On Anything Wallow, if you know a better way to bust someone's kneecaps, please share with the class!

Wonder if he does the finger-quotes whenever he says his son's name.


Those trophies weren't stolen, though, they were won fair and square, albeit possibly illegally depending on Metropolis laws on underage gambling.


Hear that Jimmy? No Super-Friends, that means no Apache Chief, no El Dorado, and DEFINITELY no Wonder Dog!


"Outsmarted" might be a bit generous here but you must admit a snowball isn't a Super Friend.


At least we've moved on from bar betting tricks to drunken country club betting tricks.


You can't con a con, but you CAN con a professional gambler's failson, it turns out.


If "Skip" isn't careful, he'll accrue enough gambling debts to find himself UNDER that frozen lake, like Nicole Kidman at the end of "To Die For". His father "Bet On Anything" can't protect him forever!


You BET we learned something Jimmy! We learned how to trick 5 year olds out of their lunch money with just a pencil and some eggs!


The NEXT guy? The LAST guy was smarter than them, and he was kind of dumb. The next guy will definitely be smarter than them.


Lucy Lane, however, has learned that not only is Jimmy kind of a creep, he also thinks physical intimacy with her is worth exactly a quarter of a dollar.

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