Hey gang, it's the 1960s! What could be COOLER or MORE BOSS than SURFING? Well, maybe HOT RODS and DIRT BIKES, those are pretty far-out and with-it! But just groove on this, hodads - just think how totally ginchy it would be if there was a comic book that featured both motorsports AND surfing? Could such a thing be possible with our space-age 1960s technology?


Here's good news! There IS a comic that combines surfing and hot rods! The bad news is, it's from Charlton. Now put on your crash helmet, check your surfboard for dings and gremmies, and get ready to ride some hogs! But first, this word from our sponsor.


Amazing scientific research has discovered the startling fact that significant weight gain in humans may be achieved by the simple process of "drinking a lot of milkshakes". Can YOU gain a pound a day on a diet of Frostys from Wendys? I bet you can, if you really try!


Here in Boulder Flats - just next to Level Mountain and Swamp Peaks - the local badmen lean against fenceposts and sneer as our mysterious heroes ride into town. I know Jack Keller did a lot of Western comics, and so far this tracks, as it seems just like every other Western story ever.


Sure, you could publish an article in a magazine stating facts and figures, or you could deliver lectures, or go on TV. But the best way to prove all motorcycle riders aren't evildoers is to get out there on your motorcycle and openly refrain from evil deeds!


"Get lost, you bums who can clearly afford expensive bikes, matching leathers, and custom painted helmets, we don't want your stylish sportswear or your chiseled good looks around these parts."


Is Cranky Townie here starting a fight, or is he instead imitating the skanking kid on the Circle Jerks album cover? Tell them to play "Coup d'Etat!"


Punks like you only understand one thing, and that's physical therapy. Now relax while I work the stress out of that ankle!


The Cantrell brothers are really getting some work done today, ankle adjustments, neck shifting and nose restructuring, all part of the "insult some bikers" package.


Let's not worry too much about those jerks getting run over. There are only four motor vehicles in town, and you bikers brought three of them.


Horse trough water? What's next, a saloon with swinging doors? Look, I know Charlton rates are pathetically low, but do you have to be so blatant about recycling those Western scripts?


Those Cantrell brothers apparently intend to finance their revenge upon the White Angels by robbing the payroll from that stagecoa... I mean, station wagon. This is modern day, not some horse opera, we didn't just take a rejected script from any one of the thousands of forgettable, inexplicably popular Western comics, I swear we didn't.


And it's with this larcenous intent that "Hog Riders" the story finally gets to some riding... on a dune buggy, not a hog. Oh well.


What are you fools trying to do? You can't hold a rave in the middle of the day! In a dune buggy! With only two people! At fifty miles an hour!


Suddenly Clem remembers that conversation he'd had a few minutes ago at the bank, when he was loading thousands of dollars into his station wagon, the way the teller asked if he wouldn't like a police escort to the mine, because it's a long lonely road out to that mine and anything could happen between here and there, maybe just to be on the safe side, but Clem was all, what could happen, it's not as if those shifty, no-account Cantrell brothers might try to run him off the cliffside or anything, sure seems ironic now, thinks Clem.


After you read this book you will fear no man! Women, on the other hand? Can't help you with those.


Seriously Clem? Just slam into that dune buggy, you're in a midcentury station wagon the size of a medium tank. You have at least a thousand pounds on that fiberglass go-kart. But no, it's off the cliff for you. Which is bad, because you're in a midcentury station wagon without crumple zones, air bags, or seat belts.


Aggressive driving, bad grooming, poor grammar, and murder? There's nothing those Cantrell brothers won't stoop to.


Ah yes, the perfect crime, with only the highly distinctive tires of their custom built dune buggy pointing towards their guilt. No one will ever know!


Meanwhile, the White Angels have finished their work in town, explaining they aren't some sort of weird Aryan Nations racist thing, and happen to be cycling right near the crash site. So Gung-ho, I guess that's the White Angels rallying cry.


Turns out the White Angels ARE the Hog Riders, and not VERSUS the Hog Riders, as the cover of this comic book indicated? Now I'm all confused, just like the editorial staff of Charlton Comics.


Leaning over a speeding dune buggy while trying to whack a motorcyclist with a wrench while bouncing over rough terrain? You're playing for keeps, all right. Just not with a full deck.


On rare occasions the primitive yet cunning Hog Rider can be seen using crude tools, such as rocks, to harrass and assault their prey.


Too late the Cantrells realize that YouTube has yet to be invented so their amusing "drive the buggy up a slope that's too steep and watch it flip over" video can't be monetized, or even become viral!


Later, after the Comics Code looked at the pages and reminded Charlton that characters aren't allowed to die, some comforting dialog was written for the last word balloon to make everything all right. Thank you White Hog Angel Riders, for all your service!

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