Once again it's the season of spooks and scares, of hauntings and horrors, of tricks and/or treats! Yes, it's Halloween and that means frightening everyone with the scariest thing you can find. For us, that's a mid 60s Dell comic. Because the ultimate fear... is boredom!
Bursting out of whatever public domain dungeon foolish enough to try to contain his iconic power, Frankenstein rides again into a brave new world of superhero action! But can this stitched together horror, representative of the folly of defying death and tampering with the forces of nature, be as successful as a heroic crime fighter? No. No, he cannot.
Careful readers will note a few minor details about this new Frankenstein. First that his castle is now in America. And secondly that nowhere does this comic ever get into the whole "stitched together out of corpses" thing.
Awakened by a bolt of lightning, this weird being now relies on a single book to give him all the knowledge necessary for survival! What is this book? "I'm OK - You're OK"? "The Power Of Positive Thinking?" "Think And Grow Rich"? "The Preppy Handbook?" "Let's Cook It Right"? "Valley Of The Dolls"? "The Happy Hollisters On Circus Island"?
That Dr. Frankenstein was a brilliant corpse-reviving scientist, but a real cheapskate when it came to buying journals.
Today, you are a man! Now collect your Bar Mitzvah gifts and start working your way through the giant list of questions posed in that next panel. Pencils up!
Producing amazingly lifelike masks AND mastering the secret of giving life to non-living matter? It's Herbert West crossed with Ben Cooper! Or maybe Don Post.
"Only some monster spawned by the forbidden science of the ruined castle would stop to help a car accident victim!"
He hasn't been in the outside world five minutes and already he's saved the richest man in the world from death AND gotten a free ride to the city.
When this old heart goes out, it could happen any time, it could happen in the next panel...
Back in the day, every newspaper article just trailed off into gibberish. Nobody reads past that first paragraph anyway.
Frankie has become a wealthy man about town, and when he sees danger from his penthouse apartment window, it's time to rip off his Bruce Wayne smoking jacket and his human being mask and leap into action.
Having trouble teasing the meaning out of that last sentence? He's trying to say that the man he just smacked is important to the police. I know it's a little awkward, but don't be too harsh on Frank, I'd say he's doing OK for someone who was assembled out of corpses.
You can't swear eternal defiance to the forces of crime and villany without a specially treated suit!
Meanwhile, on a small island in the Caribbean, readers ask themselves exactly what kind of accident causes someone to shrink down to two feet high. Maybe an accident with a shrinking ray. They aren't far from the island of Dr. Shrinker, after all!
Yes that's a Sid & Marty Krofft reference. Next, we'll mention the Lost Saucer.
It's scientific fact that the combination of tiny man and huge gorilla cannot be stopped.
And with one train robbery Mr. Freek has enough gold to buy himself an army! Or just retire? Maybe just call it a day.
"Mr. Stone will want to see this. He's a strange man. No, I'm not saying he's got a thing for giant apes! He's not strange in that way!"
Who among us hasn't been surprised by our butler before we've had a chance to disguise our discolored head with a human being mask?
Mr. Freek's reign of terror continues as Seaboard City surrenders and empties out, rather than call the Air Force or the National Guard or anything.
Freek's a coffee drinker, I see!
Well, here's the part where the undead super champion is about to battle the vicious super ape for control of the entire world in what promises to be a brutal struggle that will shake the foundations of civilization. Just make sure the blazer doesn't get wrinkled!
"Uh oh! My fifty-times-human-intellect wasn't able to determine the size of the ape by looking at his huge size!"
This is why you don't cheerlead the ape fights!
What can Frankenstein do? Distract the ape with bananas? Bop the little Freek on the skull? Or leap tall buildings? Tall buildings it is.
Ah yes, the time honored hostage release tactic of "leave them alone, maybe they'll just let the hostage go."
Uh oh, now it's the showdown! The telephone pole snapping fight to the finish with only one victor left standing and the other writhing in agony from shattered flesh and bone amidst the ruins of a shattered city!!
Nope, they just call it quits. Frankenstein and the authorities just let Mr. Freek get back on his boat, with what I assume is enough gold bullion to hire an army. Gosh, what an amazing adventure that was.
And so, the people Frankenstein saves are determined to uncover his secret identity, and the people he battles are also determined to uncover his secret identity, and Frankenstein is determined to not let them. If you enjoy revisionist takes on classic horror icons, we recommend... the Robert Eggers films "Nosferatu" and "Werwulf" and Del Toro's "Frankenstein." We don't recommend those Dell comics. They're kind of stupid.
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